How much are we willing to suffer for him/her?

I wanted to touch on a subject that folks my age know all too well; how to love the significant other.
If anything about my outlook on life has changed since my teenage (and my dumb early 20s) its that life AIN'T LIKE THE MOVIES. Disney lied to us, 'Boy Meets World' lied to us, "Family Matters' lied to us and every single romantic comedy has LIED to us. The formula is the same: boy meets girl, they fall in love, tragedy, break up followed by "I've always loved you" and "its us against the world baby" equals Happily-Ever-After. Biggest con in history yet we ate it up like free lunch. I like to believe that the hope for happily-ever-after keeps us always wishing and working towards a goal in our relationships. Nothing that is worth it comes easy, right? So my question to those in love, or lust, is how much are you willling to suffer for your lover? How much are you willing to suffer for your love?
This post is mainly inspired by recent tales of torrid relationships.
I understand that I am on the outside of said relationships, I don't know the full story, just one side. But the details of that one side, if true are enough for me to make my own decision about the offending party. What am I talking about? I'm talking about violence. As a woman, I'd be hard pressed to think someone has never been exposed to domestic violence or knew someone who was a victim/perpetrator. I won't begin to assume why the household has become a war zone nor will I deny that it happens. I'm grateful to never have had to defend myself physically against any boyfriend of my past, but if I had to just ONE time I assure you it would be the last time.
I constantly wonder why men and women stay in relationships detrimental to their health? Is the love that strong? Are the sacrifices of your well being worth the potential hazard that is your mate? These inquiries made me think of my own definition of what it is to be in a relationship, maybe I'm the one who has it wrong. Maybe the fights signify a deep rooted passion that only a soul mate could posses for his or her equal. Maybe if things flow too easily then someone isn't being genuine. Maybe without strife there is no growth, no conquest. And how does that play into loving your mate with shouting, black eyes and bruises? Would that constitute as love? It wouldn't. Keep in mind that violence, as a habit, escalates regardless of how many apologies and promises are made. Ask the countless men and women who have lived to tell of their ordeal.
If these victims loved themselves would the situation still occur? That's not a fair question to ask, but its begs to wonder why the violence was allowed to continue in the first place. I say allowed because if there was respect among both parties I do not see where any violence would have a place.
"But I love him, He loves me."
That may be true. What I wonder is do you love yourself? Love yourself enough to see that you don't deserve to be frightened into timidity. Love is scary on its own means of sacrifice, and willingness to allow a stranger into your world wholeheartedly. To be frightened though? No. Not of the man or woman whom you love or claims to love you.
I don't have much else to say on the topic, I just question the reasons why domestic violence happens, why it KEEPS happening, and why the victims remain with their aggressor in some maniacal claim of "love". 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

-Namaste