Loneliness in a lonely world.

<p>Hey All.<br>
I've had a few difficult weekends. One guy-related, one family related blowout after another. So&nbsp; my emotions are on a literal crash course rollercoaster. Yes, please feel bad for me. No, don't attempt to "psychologize" me, just aide me in discovering ways to pull away my dark clouds. <br>
Do you have dark clouds? I'll tell you my own dark clouds. Self loathing, insecurity, paranoia...cray cray! Took me my entire 20's to realize that these feelings happen but they don't have to. How to prevent them is another story, but I do have a theory.
I am blessed with wonderful friends who I never doubted to always have my best interest and mine theirs. They are my antidote to my poisonous thoughts so when I'm drowning in them I know exactly who to call. So I call. And call. And call. And call some mo'. Never an attitude, always gracious and kind words to set my scales right. I'm now at a point where just the thought of my homegirls sets me straight because I KNOW they love me inside and out.
Now that's the easy part... the hard part are the people in your life that you aren't so sure about. How do you handle them? Some may be cool, enjoyable, and perhaps carry similar interest and attributes. And I swear this happens all the time- the second you've let your guard down they show their true ugly colors. My immediate response is always "why me?". But in all honesty, why not me? Whom am I to anyone but another lonely girl?
Immediately I call upon my antidote because at least to them I'm too precious to succumb to the poison so easily.

A quickie write up
Namaste.